I have crossed life paths with a woman I went to highschool with 17 years ago. (yes I am that old.) She was so sweet and cheerful back then, and really, she still has that sparkle. (I can't believe I just said sparkle..I think i've been watching too many beauty pagent shows! lol) But recently her life hit a bump, like all of us do, and she was offered a shit sandwich and told it was turkey. She's to smart to fall for that! So she's doing alot of soul searching and figuring out her dreams in life. One of her personal stories along this life changing journey was discovering who she is, and also who she wants to be. She talked about writing a letter to her old self, what she would like to tell herself years ago that she knows now. Or would she even bother?
I think life is about the ride not the destination...because I know what the destination is, and I'm in no rush to see the pearly gates thank you very much! I want to enjoy the ride ALOT longer. But if I could write a letter to my 20 year old self...what would I say? What would YOU say? All the decisions we make along the way sculpt us into who we are today. Whether it's to date a certain guy, or take that job position we didn't really want. Every single thing we do and people we meet does some how affect the outcome of which path we cross. If you see a bird's eye view of our life path, I really believe it would look like a giant maze. Twists and turns every which way, some dead ends, some deep holes to fall into, some paths lead to original paths and we think...wasn't I just here last year? But there is also that one straight path. That path is safe and sturdy and paved with gold. Sometimes my paths have come to the golden road and I've walked a few steps only to be distracted by a shiny object like a kitty and pounce onto another dirt road. Only to realize, hey where am I? There are no signs telling you which way to go, and no footprints to follow, just your own. Along the way you meet other people, some you just pass on by, others keep coming into your life when you least expect it. Some follow alongside you and you have a good laugh all along your happy trail. Those friends are worth keeping!
But there isn't always butterflies and puppy dog kisses along the paths. There will be dark nights and stormy days to get through. There will be people along the way who are only there to hurt you and to teach you a lesson on your personal soul safety. Once you encounter enough of these people you start to figure out easily how to keep them at arms length and protect yourself. And there is also those dreaded deep dark holes you might fall into if you are not watching ahead.
Which brings me back to this. If you had the chance to write yourself a letter for your old 20 year old self what would you say? I think I would. I would tell her to finish college and not to be a loser and drop out because it got hard and money was tight. She had no idea how tight money was going to be without a college education. I would have told her to stay away from the ex who had a dog. He was nothing but a dark storm cloud of unhappiness and it was a year wasted in my opinion. I would have told her to take that job on a cruiseship when it was there for the taking. I would have said stay in Ontario, you might have been able to work your way up that grocery store ladder. (oh man I loved that job, to this day it's my favorite job i've ever had) I would have told her to stick to the WW meal plan for life. Being overweight has been the biggest struggle for all of my adult life. And I would tell her to take that dream vacation while you're young and single. Live it up and party like a rockstar.
Of course all of these things shaped me into who I am today. And since I can't change anything from the past I embrace all of my flaws and choices I've made. I'm on a new path of motherhood these days, and it's going pretty good. I keep looking down that marriage road and it looks long. So that's a good sign. And I'm really hoping there's another baby branch down that road to follow soon-ish.
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